Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Food Was Terrible & Served in Such Large Portions!

I went to a Golden Corral today and it was one of my worst dining experiences ever. I have been to the bottom of the gourmand mountain and its' not McDees, or your hated bachelor uncle's shit-on-a-shingle-cooking with sardines, and whitebread from the discard bin at Costco.This was so much worse.

The Golden Corral is an Olde Country Buffet wannabe that smells of used pastry dough, industrial chocolate, and acrid cleaners. The is a 5 yard maze that customers go through to get to their food, once you have paid there is a long, narrow hallway. Half of the hallway is occupied by the carts with the eateries, this leaves a narrow space for the people to gawk at the "food", pause and reflect on what they have eaten and check if their bowels have really rumbled. Of course with the narrow place there we, the hungry ones have to navigate through this maddening crowd to get the to the buffet.

Now as to our reason for coming there how does it suck, I cannot count the ways. For one I noticed the smell of sauces and condiments, generally when I smell those things strongly I worry if the ingredients were fresh, if you have really good chicken it does not need to be bathed in sauces to bring out the good flavours, same thing with vegetables and really good rice. What is even more unfortunate is if the food is over spiced and does not taste good. Maybe the ingredients are good but the cook sucks, but then again a cook with integrity and education would not use bad ingredients. I thought I would like the carrots but even those were not to my liking.

Generally when you have a buffet the desert is a palate cleanser at places like Olde Country Buffet, here it was the worst, did I mention the smell? From looking at the pastries, cheese cake & cookies I knew none of them were baked freshly there. To confirm this I tried some of the blueberry pie. The pies were laid out in aluminum dishes that Chef Boyardee sent them in, from the thin pale crust I could tell that they came from some synthetic pie crust mix, the little bit I tried tasted all sophisticated too. The filling was cold and left a metallic taste of dry agents, food colouring, and preserving agents, and what was worse is this Frankenstein creation, a simulacrum of a pie was served cold from the freezer. What kind of shit is this I thought as I tried a small piece. Good pie is either served at room temperature or warm from the oven.

Patient reader, you may be wondering was there anything that I liked, yes there was, the pepsi was great after a hot sweaty car ride in Montgomery, the wait staff were very helpful and nice. But I can get cheaper soda and as friendly staff at Whitecastle, and the decor is nicer, the food is cheaper, and nicer. So you if you come to this fair, historic town by I83 goto Whitecastle, the fauxfood is still bad but its' cheaper and I daresay it tastes better.

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